You Are So Strong…Ugh

Along this cancer journey, I’ve learned that a lot of survivors kind of despise hearing the phrase “you are so strong”. I personally don’t feel this way, but I get it, because no one feels strong during this season. That’s why you find silly things like Wonder Woman themes to help remind you of it. You know how many times I actually felt like Wonder Woman in this season? Zero. Zero times.

Dear survivor, if you resent it when people tell you that you are strong, I would ask you to redefine your definition of strength. We tend to think of strength or bravery like it’s a choice – like a fireman chooses to run into a burning building or a marine chooses to fight in a war, and no one chooses cancer. I think those firemen and marines would also tell you that in those scary moments, no one feels brave or strong, but they just do it anyway.

It’s like how before becoming a parent, you can look at all the gross stuff babies do and think “I don’t ever want do that”. Then you became a parent and diapers didn’t become less gross, but you just handled it anyway.

Dear whoever you are or what you might be facing,
Courage…with tears…is still courage.

No, you didn’t choose this. Whatever “this” is for you. But you are doing it anyway. And frankly, the truth is you are likely handling it better than anyone around you thinks they could in your shoes! It doesn’t mean you don’t feel weak or depressed or discouraged – it means you are doing life in spite of those things and frankly it takes way more strength and bravery to do it that way than without.

When someone speaks life to you – if they tell you how strong you are in the midst of your battle – receive it! It doesn’t mean you feel strong, but it means they are showing you the truth, and the truth is that you are strong. Because you are doing it with tears. And when life brings tears, it’s the TRUTH that we must cling to.

Phillipians 1:4 says “most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the Word of God more courageously and fearlessly.” and Phillipians 1:12 says “What has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel.”

When we face obstacles in life, we want to ask “Jesus, why did you allow this? Get me out of here!” But what if instead we asked “Jesus, why have you brought me here?” and He gave the answer in those verses
1) To advance the gospel
2) To encourage others to speak more courageously and fearlessly

Let your obstacles spark your faith, not discourage it. You won’t feel like it all the time…or even most of the time.