I didn’t realize it, but in the last week or so, we’ve entered into a new season. We transitioned from the “surgery recovery” season and started moving into the “prepare for chemo” season. We’ve had such a barrage of appointments, tests, phone calls, etc that we quietly moved into a survival mode that feels like the beginning again, when we were preparing for surgery. And that’s when I realized the new season had begun.
Lots of people have likened this journey to a marathon or triathlon, since those are kinda my thing. And it’s true – while I prayed for a sprint; a short, chemo-free journey that could conclude in a few months, what I ended up with was a big, gnarly, Spartan Beast.
Good thing I’ve done one of those before.
It started out with confidence and optimism. Along the way, there were a few times that I wanted to quit – the end seemed so far away. I definitely failed a few obstacles, but I always got back up (after 30 burpees, that is). There were moments I’ve never been so cold in my entire life. But I dominated a lot of obstacles too and impressed myself with what I could accomplish. And when I crossed the finish line, there were tears in my eyes because there is nothing like the feeling of completion and victory! I put a medal around my neck and shoved pancakes in my face.
Right now, I’m in that place where the end seems so far away and looking at the map of all the obstacles along the route seems quite daunting. I suppose that’s why God tells us not to worry about tomorrow, because He will give me everything I need to face today. And then when we get to tomorrow, He’ll give me everything I need to face tomorrow. And the day after that, and the day after that. One step, one obstacle at a time.
There’s a reason I chose the profile photo you see every time I post something. It was taken right after I finished a Spartan Super in North Carolina with one of my friends (a “super” is about 8 miles, if you were wondering. And yeah, we flew to another state for a race. We are those people.) I chose this picture because I wanted to constantly be reminded of that victorious feeling at the finish line. But also because of everything else I just mentioned – the desire to quit, finding the courage to push on, the need to take it one obstacle at a time. Oh, and that we complete the race best with friends.
So I enter the next leg of this triathlon. The first leg, the swim, was surgery. It takes a while to dry off, so we’ll be feeling the effects of that for a while. Next comes the bike, which is always the longest leg, and that’s chemo. We start next week (Friday, I think).
Until then we have daily appointments and daily inner voices. And yet, there’s a calling deep in my soul that knows God is using this for a purpose and a reason, and I keep my eyes and ears open. I am not at this doctor, this location, at this time, on accident. Every person that crosses my path is a potential moment that God wants to use me to say or do something from Him. (For the record, that goes for everyday life too, not just cancer journeys. I just wasn’t paying as much attention to it before.)
So between now and my first treatment next Friday, here’s how you can be lifting us up in prayer:
1. Continued recovery from surgery – As of today, we are 6 weeks out (that’s it?!?!). I am looking forward to getting the green light to workout, but I’m also still working on fully raising my hands over my head, so there’s a long way to go. I did get to do some bicep curls yesterday with some really cute pink 3 lb weights…and dadgummit if they weren’t heavy!
2. Overall health – As we start this chemo journey, pray that all tests and scans remain clear, my blood counts stay high, that I experience minimal side effects from chemo, and that I’m able to stay active, which helps those other things. Pray that Matt and I both stay generally healthy and avoid any colds or sicknesses that could complicate things.
3. Peace, Joy, and Rest – We’re feeling the burden and stress of all these appointments, and I’m “looking forward” to the routine and predictability this next season will bring. Once we get through the first treatment, the rest can be expected to be the same. We need peace beyond understanding and a joy that is not based on circumstances. We need rest in the evening for my still recovering body, but also rest for mind and soul.
4. Open eyes and ears – As I mentioned, God has a purpose and a plan. I pray not to miss opportunities to bring the joy and peace of Jesus to those around me, in whatever way that means.
5. Complete healing – let us never see this terrible disease again!
Thanks again for your prayers, they are truly our greatest need and I simply don’t know how we could run this race without them!
More updates to come as we get this chemo party started. #Letsdothis #Godsgotthis
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