Peace

From the time I was 18 to 36 years old, I had a cat named Duncan. That’s right, this cat lived for 18 years. And he was special. In fact, had he lived another year longer, I would have lived more years with him than without. We had a special bond, one that I won’t try to explain because it won’t do it justice, but if you’ve ever had a pet like that, you know. He was my buddy, through thick and thin. We had been through countless life experiences together. And he died when I was halfway through chemo.

He tried to see me through to the end, he really did. But he was in so much pain. One Sunday night, I had a heart to heart with him. I told him he didn’t have to make it to the end of the cancer battle, that I would be ok without him. He died that Tuesday morning.

I cried and cried. The grief I was already experiencing in that season of cancer compounded the grief of losing my beloved pet. The tears came in uncontrollable waves, and in the moments when I felt like I just couldn’t hold it together anymore, something amazing happened. I felt the Lord speak one word to my heart; “peace”. I think it was both a desperate cry from me to Him as much as it was a sweet quieting of my soul from Him to me. And in that moment when I heard that word in my mind and felt that word on my heart, the tears would cease. I felt an actual physical comfort, and I could catch my breath. When the next wave of grief returned later, it would happen again. Over and over it happened that day. It was unexplainable. A peace beyond understanding.

I know it might sound silly to some people to talk about such grief over a pet. Even sillier to talk about God’s peace and presence because of a cat. But that’s how accessible God is to us, and how much He cares about the things we care about. It’s how much He truly loves us, that He weeps when we weep. It’s what He offers us whether we are at our lowest point of grief, our highest point of anxiety, or anywhere in between; it’s His peace.

It’s why He is called the Prince of Peace. It’s why He is called Emmanual, God with us. His peace is with us, and it’s available to us. It’s higher than cancer. It’s higher than grief. It’s higher than depression or anxiety or fear or pandemics or loneliness or betrayal anything else we can experience on this earth. It covers us and comforts us no matter the circumstances. That is, if we are open to His presence and allow Him in.

Where in your life do you need His peace today?