Is it Weird that Breast Cancer Awareness Month Bothers Me?

Ah, October. The time of year when the weather cools, the pumpkin spice abounds, and all Texans can emerge from our air-conditioned igloo-houses and enjoy the outdoors again.  I love October.

It’s also the time of year when pink ribbons appear on everything from fundraisers to facebook to football cleats. I love October. I have mixed feelings about Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

On one hand, I think Breast Cancer Awareness is so great–yes, women need to be reminded and encouraged to take care of themselves. Yes, we need research to find a cure for this terrible disease. Yes, we need treatments that aren’t worse than the disease in the meantime. We need as many people and organizations as possible to come together to solve this problem because it is destroying the lives of too many people.

On the other hand, it can be difficult trying to battle an enemy like breast cancer only to be reminded of it everywhere you look for an entire month. Even when the battle is “over”, that photo of a beautifully bald smiling young woman surrounded by delicate pink ribbons is hardly the picture of cancer I remember. The part of me that’s still raw wants to rail against this month and protest “How does this so-called awareness help anything? I don’t want to walk for cancer. I want to punch cancer in the throat. How’s that for awareness?” (Don’t judge me. There are things you want to throat punch too, you just don’t have a blog where you talk about it in front of everyone.)

To “survive” means to continue to live or exist, especially in spite of danger or hardship. Being a survivor is complex. Sometimes days, I wish I could just forget the whole thing. Been there, done that, got the pink t-shirt. Those are the days I find the October reminders particularly annoying. And while I was going through treatment, every October pink ribbon was like pouring salty lemon alcohol on an open wound.

But now, the wounds are healing (literally and figuratively) and as the topic of cancer becomes a little less raw, the reminders aren’t so harsh and it’s become easier to wade through the sea of pink power. I realize I didn’t simply survive for myself, but I survived for others. For my family, for my friends, for my future. For the other women who are now part of the sisterhood they never wanted to join. For the other women that should never join the sisterhood I had to join. Surviving is bigger than me.

So to my pink sister who gets frustrated every time you see that pink license plate or hits the mute button every time that commercial comes on tv…you are not alone. They can hit the raw parts of my heart too. But God has a purpose and a plan for you and it’s so much more than simply surviving so you can move on with your life, never to talk about this again. Surviving is bigger than you.

I like to think that Breast Cancer Awareness Month doesn’t celebrate the existence of cancer, it celebrates the strength of the survivor. The strength of you. It’s not a reminder that this disease exists and is taking over your life, it’s a reminder that there is an entire sisterhood, an entire organization, and an entire world supporting you in your fight. You do not fight alone. When you see that pink ribbon, it’s ok to be angry about its very existence. But allow it to remind you that one day you will be on the other side, and your strength will inspire another sister to keep fighting. And her strength will inspire another sister who is also annoyed by pink ribbons and “save the tata” slogans. And one of these days, after all the walks and fundraisers and ribbons, we will not have to walk anymore because there will be no more women walking in our shoes.

*If this post reminded you of someone going through cancer, please share it with them and encourage them!